Note: Watch this video

The script is down below!

Sus: Mooorning! Welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone… to this arena. This stage for awesome epic CSF fights!

You all know why you are here. Are you ready for this fight? ……………………..

I can’t hear you ……………………………

Are you readyyyy? (Woooh)

That sounds ready to me.

This is your only Sus here. And Shiv, my co-host. Buddy, wake up.

Sv (snoring… and waking up): Good mooorning.

What a hot day out there?

We are here for a match of the century, wait not a century, but millennium.

Sus, take it from here.

Sus: Stoked as ever, eeh!

I don’t know what I will do without this guy. Here we go, our contestants come forward.. On the left hand side, we have got the one and only, the towering, the strong, sturdy, erect Mooooo…..untain. Give us some noise, ladies and gentlemen.

Sv: On the right side. We have the all transparent, changing, moving, honestly my favorite

background music, (Sus giggling) The seaaaaa…………………….. Let’s hear it man….

Sus: Contestants, make your way in the stage. Mountain, got any words.

(Hollow sound, birds chirping, wind crashing)..

Sv: Sea, where are you? You? Oh there you are? what about you man… Waves crashing…

Sus: What incredible energy from our contestants.

Sv: Sus, you are forgetting something. Our sponsors, man.

Sus: Oh yeah. How could I forget, bruhh? This fight is sponsored by Radical Nuclear Waste Disposal Company.

Sv: RNWDC for short. Do you ever feel there is less nuclear waste in town?

Sus: Do you think your land is too grassy?

Sv: Radical company is gonna solve that problem for you, man. They take the best nuclear waste and dump into your backyard. That will take care of that green grass problem.Make it a different kind of green though.

Sus: Well, that’s the kind of green I need in my back-yard. You know what I am saying. So, call + 10101010121316589. and get their services right nowwww.

Sv: Back to the fight, dude.

Sus: Yeah, of course. Contestants, listen carefully! No dirty business or punching below the belt. Keep it all civil. Otherwise, I will give you a good hearing.

Sv: Alright, Ready, Start! (…. Audience shouting…. In the background)

Sus: On our left, the mountain just stands there! He is not moving, not one bit! What kind of move is that?

Sv: While the sea is all movement. You can’t catch him. Hard to keep with its (e)motions! Oh man, he’s already going for the attack?

Sus (shrieking):What do we see here!!!??? Waves, countless, oh no. what is that in the end?

Sv (gasps…): A tsunami, the mountain-breaker!

Sus (shouting even louder): Oh my!!! It’s the killer move.

Sv: And look at the other guy. What is he gonna do? Oh no! He is using the “just stand there” move. Is it gonna work?

(Waves crashing into the mountain)

Sus: Yessss. It is working! The mountain is just gonna stand there and take it like a “man”. How long is this going to happen?

Sv: Well actually, it will take exactly 2 million years, let me say that again, 2 million years for the waves to dissolve that mountain of a thing.

Sus: Who’s got that much time to spare? Going to the audience. What is their response to this madness?

(Audience screaming… drowning….waves)

Sv: Well, it seems that the audience is caught in the cross-fire.

Sus: Eh (in disgust), Are you serious? (Sighs….) If only these guys had a good umbrella that could save them!

Sv: If only you guys had the “amazing Umbrella”! This thing will save you from anything. Rains, floods, tsunamis, meteor shower, heart break, what not.

Sus: Order it now and save yourself the misery without this umbrella.

Sv: Dial (mumbling sounds) to get yourself a trial for 2 months.

Sus: You know what I did there. Perfect transition to our sponsor.

Sv: Hmm..(of approval)

Sus: Back to our fight! Mountain is still in the defensive, sea on the constant onslaught. What will the mountain do?

Sv: Something is going on there!

Sus: What????

Sv: Look over there. (Pointing at the top of the mountain)

Sus: What the hell is that?

Sv: What else? The trump card mountain had been saving for this very fight.

Sus, Sv: Volcanic eruption. (Explosion….)

Sv: Dude, look at that thing. The whole place is covered with magma, The mountain is creating more of itself. Pushing that s.o.b back, treating it like a normal latrine.

Sus: It looks like the mountain will win this fight eventually!

Sv: Well…

Sus: What?

Sv: You wanna hear what I am thinking.

Sus: Alright, I am all ears.

Sv: Let’s not give up on the sea already. That s.o.b covers most of the planet.

Sus: What do you think will happen?

Sv: Wait and see.

(50 years later)

Sus: Audience you still here? This is not the match of the millennium for no reason.

Sv: The numbers are falling, Sus. Our ratings just plummeted Sus.

Sus: Well, what can be done? Get better folks. Keep up with the heavenly sh… (Gaspsss….) What???

(In the distance, an icy mountain slowly marches towards the mountain)

Is that what I think it is?

Sv: That is exactly what I am talking about. Holy hell, holy hell.

Sus: Iceberg!!!! What a betrayal. By its own kind. At this point, it is a shit show. What did the sea do to get such a favor?

Sv: I heard that sea was just being chill.

Sus: Oh Shiv! Being chill does not make the world go around. What is this?

Sv: I know. Even my all-knowing powers could not predict this move.

(Iceberg collides with the mountain, overflowing with magma.)

Sus: Who’s gonna win this? Here we have, heat meeting the cold. Flow meeting solid. What is this mess of things, bruh?

Sv: Yes, this is how things are, man. There are no allegiances in this world.

Sus: I am at the edge of my seat! Give us the results already.

(A millenium later)…..

Sus: So, who won?

Sv: It seems that the mountain turned into a mush of mud and lava. Is that even a…

Sus: Don’t say it. Let him keep his dignity together. Count it.

Shiv: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ….. Bells ring

The Sea is our winner. No audience… winds whistling.

Shiv: Dude, our audience has died off.

Sus: What a bunch of killjoys. All this action, but nobody to witness. Now we know who are the real losers…

Shiv: Don’t say that. That is not kids friendly.

Sus (sighs): That’s it for today, cretins and shitheads. This concludes the Cosmic Slugfest of the millenium.

Sv: Until next time.