Daily writing prompt

Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

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Ever since my childhood, I had quaked under my boots when performing in a stage, in front of the fellow students and teachers. On one stage performance, I forgot my lines and started improvising, earning the ire of my teachers.

How could anybody not feel this? The shake in the boots is a twin brother following you ever since your birth.

“What if I screw up?” these are the whispering of the twin brother. “What if this. or that?” Yes, it is a genuine concern. As it goes, others would not like to be a car crash. Maybe laugh at it, but not be the origin of it.

Cue to December 2023, I had the symptoms of a severe flu. I had my piano recital that day, and having practiced it for so many months, I did not wish to call it sick. Even through the slight body ache and congested nose, I sat in front of the grand piano. My body moved through the same motions as I had practiced several times. A jubilant energy took over. The gaze of the audience was not threatening, but it was searching for something to latch on to. And I was there percolated to my surroundings moving gracefully, feeling intensely proud for even being there. That was the first time I ever felt the shake, the twin brother, in tune with my play.

Nothing mattered in that moment, except that moment. Well two days later, I had the flu. That is a different topic. One month later, I defended my thesis with the same jubilant energy.

Ever since then, I attained a life-philosophy. Life is a play, with roles given to everybody, even without us knowing. And within ourselves, we go through the ‘what ifs’. What would happen if I screw up this role? As a father or a mother? As a son? Or something else.

Only the great souls understand the roles given as a play in an act. Only the great Buddha understands the illusion, the play, the everything. And nobody in the audience is set on an idea in the first place. Things move, ideas move. Anybody can be convinced of anything. If this is the case, the infinite creativity is infinitely freeing.

Now I don’t shy away from the stage. I breathe in it, live for it.

I have been on the stage singing, or reciting poetry. It gives out a different feel now. The warmth or the chill of the audience’s eyes fall on me. And I push and pull it with grace.

This is my story. What is yours?