Note: This is continuation of a previous post….. check this out here. https://djinnscave.com/2025/08/01/on-its-way-to-the-sea-%f0%9f%90%b3/

    An alarm clock screeched at the top of its voice. Birds, possibly sparrows, were chirping to begin a brisk day. His dream, still vivid in memory, left behind an odd scar. He didn’t know what to call it. Outside of his bubble, was a completely different world. Disparate footsteps, several perhaps three of them, resounded on the old bark wood of the floor. He moved around his fluffy bed adjusting his weight to perfectly align between the bedsheet and the mattress. His sliding door trembled with a heavy fist banging it. He pulled his covers down, unbeknownst to him. He was deciding whether to open the door. 

“Kawada-san. Kawada san.”

He woke up at a sluggish pace and put on his slippers. Slowly walking towards the door, he opened it. In front of him was a dishevelled man, clearly unkempt and face out of order. This was not the usual cheery Satoru,

“Kawada-san. Did you know what happened? Please, don’t panic.”

Satoru took a deep breath and dumped the information.

“Your neighbour passed away. He ….” with a whimper.

“took his own life.”

A thousand volt jolt of electricity ran through Kawada. All he could mumble was,

“Hmm.”

There was a drop of temperature in the room. Snowflakes seemed to come out of Kawada’s lips,

“Please leave.”

With a hint of incredulity, Satoru muttered,

“Ohhh. “

Satoru was taken aback from such a curt reply. Shock turned to displeasure within seconds. Satoru left a bit jittery with his cheeks burning hot red. The door shut behind him with a loud thud.

Kawada was standing in front of the door with his arms still on the door slider. He muttered,

‘There is no way. I think I heard something yesterday. My name? Wasn’t it a dream? ’

His tragedy radar was always on the red alert around this man. Maybe he had always wanted help from others. Even the receptionist would try to talk with the guy. It obviously did not work. What could Kawada the eternally depressed man provide? Only more reason to kill oneself. But the jolt of sadness caught him off guard. He hadn’t known that there were states below hopeless. Trying his best to console himself, he chose physical activity. He stood in front of the mirror, quickly finding a toothbrush in his hands. The brush needles attempted to scrape off the newly found shock only producing thin blood. His metallic shield had previously provided him with a sort of solace. But now it was hurting him with suffocation.

‘Oh, how many knights would have loved to throw off their armours and liberate their armpits and crotches?’ He was no knight, but definitely had a smelly crotch. He was terribly giddy with comfort nowhere to be found. There was only one thing left to do. 

‘I have to do this. ’

After spitting into the washbasin, he rinsed his mouth and wiped it with a towel. The moment he reached outside his room, he pressed furtively against the wooden floor. As if a cat were walking on the floor. There was nobody else in the other room, except a corpse lying sideways in the middle. It was blue from suffocation, and there were marks on his neck indicating rope activity, not the good kind.

‘He had hung himself.’

The word ‘passed or took his own life’ never paints the whole picture. There is a world of difference between jumping off a cliff to hanging oneself. The room was as mundane as his own. Only a picture of his family was sitting in the drawer. The man in the photograph looked much younger and was beaming with a smile. 

Kawada turned his head to look at the body. Lips were puffed with a paint of blue, part of his body consumed by this colour. He remarked,

“Why does he look so surprised with his eyes and mouth open ajar? Did the glimpse of the afterlife surprise him enormously?”

The man’s buttons were open, part of his chest hair peeking out. Out came a stench for the ages to remember with its signature pale blue mark. A sensation took over Satoru. He fished the man’s pockets for something, some kind of identification. Anything would help, as long as he could understand this man. He was aware that he was breaching all sorts of laws, but his mind was in a frenzy. The corpse would have definitely sued him in the heavenly court of justice for desecrating his corpse. Apparently cops and undertakers are the worst offenders. There was nothing on him. He heard steps in the reception area and found it urgent to leave. 

Kawada faced Satoru with a look of determination above the staircase. Satoru’s weariness showed in his voice,

“What is the matter?”

“Satoru san, I need some help.”

“Yes?”

“Do you know the guy’s name?”

“Mori. Shinda Mori. That is his name. What is the matter?”

“Could you tell me more about this man?”

He held Satoru by his shirt and pulled him,

“Please.”

“Okay okay. The police are coming here. And also the ambulance for taking the body. You can ask them.”

“Where can I find them? Is it possible for me to ask them?”

“I don’t know.”

“Could you please ask them the details?”

Satoru was overwhelmed with surprise, sensing be the sudden change in Kawada’s behaviour. Reflected into Satoru’s eyes, Kawada saw himself desperate. 

“Okay, okay…. Go to your room. I will ask them.”

Satoru earned his way out of Kawada’s grabs and left the establishment. Kawada realised something crucial.

‘How can I do the things I want, if the police arrive here?’

He needed to be fast. He needed to find this man’s secret fast. How could a man live without anything private? Without any features? There must be something to him. He went back to the room. Shinda had not moved. Kawada looked into the cupboards and found some clothes, underwear and other things. In the lowest drawer was a photo book. 

“I have something now.”

It began from his teenage years. Photography was his pastime hobby. It began with some old casual shots of his friends, birds and animals. Apparently he loved going to zoos to look at the animals. The older photos gave Satoru a nostalgic feel. He himself had gone on trips around the US with his family when he was small. His father loved taking photos of him and his mother. Nonetheless, the technology improved over the decades and so did the photographs. Shinda was increasingly getting better at photographing animals. Every photo of his had a certain punch to it, unveiled a character of the animal. A deer looking at the stranger with its clueless beady eyes, an eagle ready to pounce at its prey, and other things. 

And then voila, he found romance with some girl. Years later, a child and a tired woman. There were a few photographs of his new office. And there was a disappearance. 20 years later, he continued his shots. A shot with a mirror in front. A middle aged man stood with far more wrinkles on his face. Someone would have guessed he was in his 50s at least, the same man he had known. There was no wife or child to find. In the final stage of his journey was an obsession with a certain fish. Whales. He rode boats into the perfect spots near the coast of Japan to capture whales jumping and moving in packs. And then there was one that spoke in volumes about the state Shinda was in. He was staring at a school of fishes and looked dejected. Why so sad looking at whales? 

He could finally see Mori’s destiny, his secret. Now he understood his own dream. A glimpse appeared of the blue whale seen from his boat pushing its huge streamlined body. It was approaching him, the sailor, without any fear. It knew it would upturn the boat just by coming near me. How else could it reach me?

3.

    It was staring at him softly. A clue to what lay in front of him. A matter of urgency was in his hands. 

He held Shinda by his shirt and pulled him. Maybe he could hide him in his room. His bathroom would work. His bathtub could handle all kinds of dead bodies, better than a mortuary. There is a sad conciliation with ending one’s life from a bathtub, the cosiest place on the planet. Millions of dead bodies lay safe in their bathtubs, leaving softly. The body gained sort of a new colour purple, where it touched the water. 

Kawada felt an uncomfortable ease at having accomplished this. A part of him screamed danger. 

‘Fret not child. ’ 

For his other accomplice lying in the half-filled bathtub spoke in a deathly silent voice. 

‘You are on the cusp of a journey, a thousand year long journey. I am only the beginning. You must do what you must to set us free. For a guide is what we need. So let me transform to the thing I envy.’

Nary a muscle moved on Mori’s face. There was a kerfuffle outside his room. People were probably wondering where it went.

‘Now or never.’

He wrapped Shinda in clothes and lowered him from the window using a blanket. Without a care, he jumped off the window and slightly sprained his ankle. The pain was not substantial. There were bigger fish to fry than his scrawny legs. A gravely trail seemed to meander downwards. He knew his destination,

“The river, the underbridge. That is where I need to go”

He took the body on his back and walked slowly. The gravel was loose and Shinda was eating the friction between his legs. He slipped and threw Shinda from his back. He unwrapped himself and started rolling downwards. Luckily the slope wasn’t that steep. But the tiny stones seemed to smear and puncture his bloated skin. A giant stone lay at the foot of the slope. His head banged on the side and landed flat. Kawada ran off to look at the body. It was severely disfigured by now. “Oh no.”, He cried at having disfigured Shinda. 

“Forgive me.”

He wrapped it again with the blanket stuck in one of the shrubs. Now he was very careful about his steps. Slowly he reached the river back. It connected to the underbridge. The sun was at its zenith position. It directly attacked the surface. The heat was scorching the rocks, and fields alike. He carefully unpacked his large bundle and saw a few people gathering around. Seeing Shinda blue and beaten seemed to drive the crowd anyway. A few stayed as their curious sides caught on. Someone rambled in apanese. His words were coated with alcohol. He couldn’t understand, but it was clear to him what he was asking.

‘What are you going to do with him?’

Kawada beckoned,

“Send him on a journey. Tabi.”

“Ahh, tabi ka? Sore wa yoi kotoda.”

Kawada nodded in approval. He pushed the dead body like a paper boat ready to travel thousands of miles. 

“Kare no namae wa?”

“Shinda Mori.”

The bum laughed out loud. 

“Subarashi namae.”

The last homeless man left with a slow pace to his corner. Kawada was sitting on the rocky bed with a wide smile. The whole day had felt like a dream to him. A very powerful dream. Shinda sailed on his back, jumping up and down with a sense of joy towards the destination he loved the most, his retribution in life. 

‘No one would laugh at him, pity him. He strove to become a whale.’

4.

He retraced his steps and went back to the hotel. Satoru rushed towards him at that moment.

“I saw you taking the dead body on your back from my window. Where is the dead body?” in hasty English.

“On its way to the ocean?”

“What?”

Kawada repeated clearly,

“He is on its way to the ocean.” This was the first time he had heard these words. He had forgotten to breathe. After regaining himself,

“How dare you? Are you crazy? ”

“I don’t know. But I truly believe in it.”

Kawada redirected his question,

“Did they find his family?”

Satoru quieted down and replied with a sense of embarrassment,

“His family, I mean ex-family, does not want him back. He had broken a lot of bridges in his life.”

Kawada was deeply satisfied for some reason.

“So what I did was truly right.”

Satoru shot back.

“What the hell? How are you sure about any of this?”

“Anyone with a set of eyes could see it clearly. It was either him or the whole society. He didn’t feel satisfied in his current state. Something had to give. So he transformed.”

Satoru was dumbstruck for a while. There was some deep clarity in his madness. He was tired and looked around for something to sit on. 

“All you foreigners come and ruin our country.”

“It is too beautiful, don’t you think? Too beautiful for people to live in.”

Satoru looked sideways towards Kawada and queried,

“What would you know about beauty? Serenity?”

“I know full well about beauty. Shinda knew about beauty. He could not find any. So he chose to find his own.” Satoru erupted, 

“Bullshit.”

Kawada asked another question,

“What did you say to the police?”

“They saw you take the body. You were that stupid! I am sure the dead body would be found down the river. Down the line, I will be called negligent. ‘How can a foreigner do anything bad?’ ”

“I did it all. Blame it on me. Make things up.”

“Didn’t you hear? Foreigners can’t be called responsible. You don’t even understand proper Japanese decency.”

Kawada said,

“Then I will learn your language and your proper etiquettes. I already have a Japanese face. Then I will be responsible for all this. ”

A ray of hope was enough for Satoru to relax his muscles. Kawada continued,

“As for your inn, you don’t like this place anyway.”

“What?”

“I sensed from the beginning that you don’t want to own this place. It is all nice and dandy that you want to honour your parents. But all you get to meet are people who talk about anime and depressed people like me and Shinda.”

A silence brewed in that moment. Satoru’s face puckered up in pain,

“How…… how do you know that?”

“I just do.”

Kawada earned a sort of respect in Satoru’s eyes.

“What do you think I will do if I lose my business?”

“I can’t tell you. But I will tell you what I am going to do. I will help the countless souls in the world with my accomplice. ”

“But how?”

“I don’t know. But all we can do is hope.”

Nothing, not even Kawada could determine what Satoru’s life was heading towards. Not even the friendly whale. 

A single word persisted in the reception.

“Hmmmmm…….”